getting ready…or not

This has been a very busy pregnancy; I haven’t really had tome to concentrate on getting ready for a baby.  With Piglet, it was all I could think about..  The nursery was completely set up when I was 6 months pregnant.  With baby B, I was just hoping I get through the last 7 months without going into labor before I was ready (because of stress, I had an intense irrational fear that I would go into preterm labor, which of course caused more stress).   But here I sit at 37 weeks + and ready.

• Crib set up – check
• Bassinet set up – check
• Baby clothes washed, folded, and put away – check
• Baby clothes folded and put away again after Piglet played in them – check
• Diapers and wipes accumulated – check (thanks to Grammy and Kathryn)
• Baby things pulled out of the attic, cleaned, set up, and ooed and ahhed over – check
• Hospital bag packed – check
• Preregistration at hospital – check
• Preregistration with insurance devil – check
• Maternity Leave scheduled and approved at work – check
• Baby name chosen – check (this was one of the more stressful items on the agenda since I had Piglet’s name picked out for 8 years.  Picking a name for a person is hard work – so much pressure.  I tried to let Russ pick, but he was all wishy washy and indecisive.  We got it narrowed down and tried to let our friends vote at the beach, but they came out dead even.  So then we tried to let the youth vote at Montreat and they were dead even again – NO HELP.  So finally, we asked Piglet one day, and she very matter-of-factly said a first, middle, and last name like it had been decided upon weeks ago.   Then it was done.  Thank goodness.

And this weekend was our first weekend with NOTHING to do in a LONG LONG time – no studying, no traveling, no gatherings, no plans, no sermonizing, no working, NADA.  So for the first time in a LONG LONG time, our house is clean, our lawn is mowed, and our laundry is done (for now).  Those things things haven’t happened concurrently since before the beginning of time I feel like.  But nesting took over, and now it is done.   The only things left to do are put the final bedding and curtain touches on the nursery and go to the church shower this Sunday.  SO COME ON BABY!

BUT WAIT!! all this readiness is now sending me into panic mode because HELLO?! I am going in to labor at some point soon and OMG! I’m going to have two kids.  I was sitting at the table with Piglet the other morning, and all of a sudden I looked at her and thought “I’m about to have two kids” as if this hasn’t been an actual reality for the last 8 months because I was too busy to really think about and let it settle in.  How am I going to handle two kids when I can barely handle one?  I keep telling myself that it will be easier when I am no longer pregnant, because SHESH – the sleeplessness and the tiredness and the acheyness and the hugeness make parenting a wee bit difficult.  I hope I’m right and not delusional.

I also realized that all channels containing shows like “Maternity Ward” “Baby Story” and “Special Delivery” should be blocked from our TV because I don’t really need to be reminded about the whole realities of labor.  I was watching one show at 4:30 am when I couldn’t sleep because I had gotten up for the seventh time to use the bathroom and just couldn’t go back to sleep.  The mother was having a normal delivery, but when the baby came out, he wasn’t breathing and they didn’t have a neonatal team on stand by because everything was normal.  AND I LOST IT COMPLETELY.  But then less than a minute later, he was fine – but that must have been the longest minute for that mother.  So, yeah, can’t watch those shows anymore.

So now what do I do?  I just wait and wait.  And I obsess over every twinge and pain because it just might be labor.  I don’t really know what to expect because with Piglet I didn’t have contractions (not even Braxton Hicks really) until I was at the hospital.  My water broke and they actually had to start my labor.   So now, every time I feel something a little weird, I sit up and cock my head to the side and wonder – maybe, maybe…then no, it goes away.

All in all, I think I’m definitely more ready than not ready.   I think.