I have had a lot of FAIL moments lately.

Friday:  To set the scene, Russ left in the morning before the kids got up and would be on call that night.   Poor Caleb bore the brunt of most of my frazzled fail moments.  1)  I was in the kitchen getting Caleb’s bottles ready for daycare when I heard Taylor yelling “Caleb’s getting shocked!” So I obviously ran into the living room to find Caleb with the monitor cord in his mouth….the other end of which was plugged into the wall.  Thankfully, Taylor was wrong, and he was not actually getting shocked.  2)  During the day I had been cutting coupons in the living room. I left my scissors on the floor.  After I brought the kids in from the car, I had to use the bathroom.  When I came back, Caleb had the point end of the scissors in his mouth.   3)  After he nearly punctured his throat, I fed Caleb and tried to put him down for a nap.  When I went to lay him in the crib, I realized that it had neither sheet or mattress pad because they were still in the washing machine.  I tried to convince myself it would be ok, but Caleb would have nothing of it.  No nap for him.  4) While trying to cook dinner, I hit Caleb in the head with the cabinet door.   Mom Fail.  (Items one and two are the direct result of my denial that he is crawling fast enough to get to these dangerous objects in the blink of an eye.  Items 1-4 are the direct result of Multitasking Fail).

By some miracle, by 7:30 pm on Friday night, both kids were fed, bathed, pajamaed, and sleeping soundly…and by 11:00 pm, all the laundry was done, the dishes were washed, the kitchen was cleaned, and the bills were paid.  I thought, ok, maybe I’m not a failure afterall.  Then it was Saturday morning and Russ was STILL gone.  I had the ridiculous notion that I could get ready while both kids played nicely in the playroom.  I heard no crying or things breaking so I thought all was well.  Then I heard Taylor in the bathroom.  I went to investigate to find colorful footprints throughout the hallway and bathroom because she had attempted to “paint” her toenails a variety of colors with markers and then decided she didn’t like it so was trying to wash her feet with a wet tissue (while wearing a Cinderella dress).  I got her and the floor cleaned up and went to check on Caleb.  I found a nice puddle of spit up in front of him…along with a few damp pieces of chalk…and his face was quite colorful.  Awesome.  Multitasking Mom Fail.  Again.

But then Russ got home around lunchtime and we headed out for a nice picnic at the park.  It wasn’t as nice I envisioned, but still not a failure moment.  Then both kids napped at the same time for over an hour.  The opposite of fail.

So optimistic, we headed out for an afternoon walking on the beach.  It was 85 at our house, so we thought it would be perfect beach strolling weather.   But the closer we got to the beach, the lower the temperature reading on the car fell.  By the time we reached our parking spot, it hit 69.  That was still warm enough for a stroll, plus we had just driven 40 minutes, so we piled out of the car anyway.  But the closer we walked to the ocean, the windier and colder it got.  It was much like our first Beach Fail last summer, but at least we didn’t bring the beach toys or bother with bathing suits and sunscreen this time.  And just to prove how windy it was and how miserable the kids were, we took a nice family photo.

After we realized our beach plan was not working out, we headed to the outlet mall to walk around.  When we got there we noticed that a bunch of people were standing outside of their cars with cameras and then we heard the Thunderbirds (like the blue angels) flying overhead.  So we got excited, parked the car, and got both kids out to watch the planes…just in time for the last fly over.  Spontaneous Fail.  Oh well.

Everyone is still alive and well.  That counts for something, right?

2 Responses

  1. love the picture…definitely not a fail:-)

  2. I’m am only laughing out loud because it sounds like a typical weekend around here. No. REALLY! 🙂

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